Into the Depths of the unknown

For so long I have “planned” my life. I have strived for different dreams and planned out a course to get there. They have got me to where I am today which I am grateful for, however, I have now changed. My desires are new. I can feel something being birthed inside of me yet I don't know what it is. 

As this year begins I realize this is the first time in my life I have no plans. I have no idea what 2022 has to offer. I am stepping into the depth of the unknown. 

In my studies, I have come to learn the Liminal realm is where change happens; When we are in that space in-between, or in the unknown spaces, we begin to follow emergence. This is where transformation happens. 

I used to fear this space. It felt chaotic and I would grasp for control. I learned that often the control I was grasping for was not actually in my own self-interest. 

This feeling of unknown to me felt like being stuck in a windstorm. Getting pulled in multiple directions. Losing a sense of where the ground is, feeling everything blow through you with no grounding. 

Those who know me well can tell you that I have a hard time being in wind. 

Even the thought of it used to make me shutter. 

If it's windy out I would rather not step outside. 

With all other elements, I feel I can protect myself in some way. 

But the wind? No thank you.

Recently I had the privilege of going on a retreat to Hawaii. On one of the days, we ventured to a sacred spot called Dragon’s Teeth. This is a lava flow that juts out into the water. 

It was beyond windy. You feel like you’re at the end of the world. 

The ocean rages. 

Winds hollows. 

At points, you almost get blown over.

I was in my biggest fear.

I realized at this moment I could either sit down and be miserable or face my fear.

I ended up venturing out to the furthest edge of the rock that water was hitting me when big waves hit. I stood and faced the wind. I let my arms out and I surrendered. I asked the wind to teach me.

I then began to dance with the flow of the winds and the waves crashing. 

All of a sudden many minutes had gone by and I felt powerful.

As opposed to fighting the wind I surrendered and let myself fly with this wind. 

I became unbound. I flew like a hawk.

I was unbound from my fears. 

Unbound from my inner wounded parts. 

Unbound from relationships. 

Unbound from societal norms. 

I was simply just me in my fullness. 

In my power. 

I felt free.

It is from this place that I can now summon the courage to stand in the unknown. Just as the heavy winds blow, what if I just stop grasping and instead simply stand in my power and see what emerges in the world in front of me. 

This is my vision for the year. To follow what feels good. To dive into freedom. To unbound myself from anything I feel is holding me back.

We shall see what this year has in store. 

I feel ready to co-create with the universe.